Writers are a strange bunch. Thanks to social media, we get in-depth looks into their weird minds, for better or for worse. For your amusement, I have guessed at what some of my favorite authors would have written on social media, during different stages of their creative processes.Their language may be altered for comical, modern effects. Please comment with your own ideas below, if mine don't suffice or if you have a favorite author you wish to take on.
Jane Austen: Underappreciated Writer Stage, Angry Tweet
The persons, be they gentleman or ladies, who have illegally downloaded my most recent book are #intolerablylame #atleastreviewit
Edgar Allan Poe: In Love with Own Words Stage, Tweetable
@EAPAuthor #inspiration #writerwisdomwednesday #writersRT
Sylvia Plath: Writer's Depression Stage, Facebook Status
Having one of those off days. Can't seem to find that restless joy I located last week. I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between. Probably going to take a Facebook break and recharge.
Zora Neale Hurston: Procrastination Stage, Foodie Instagram
#toooldforlove #comfortingooddinners #foodieshapshots
Charlotte Bronte: Productive Stage Nanowrimo, Twitter
Word count: 55, 000. #Nanowrimo #Winner but must keep on. This novel transfixes me quite.
Herman Melville: Hate Game of Publishing Stage, Facebook
Publisher turned down my masterpiece, and wants more filth for the ignorant masses. I can barely put words upon the page without wanting to rip my own eyes from their sockets. To appease you ignorant sobs, I give you what you crave--so much trash to consume without thinking.
Thank you for taking this time to be ridiculous with me. I'm in the writer procrastination stage, clearly. And social media makes it much easier to procrastinate, no? Okay, back to work, H.M.!
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H.M Jones is the author of B.R.A.G Medallion Honor and NIEA finalist book Monochrome, its prequel Fade to Blue, the Adela Darken Graphic Novellas, Al Ravien's Night, The Immortals series, and several short stories.