H.M. Jones Writes
  • H.M. Jones: Author, Blogger, Geek
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
  • Poetry
  • Thinking of Writing: Writing is Thinking
  • Naughty Donnie
  • Follow/Contact H.M. Jones
Writing for the love of it

Thinking of Writing

Writing is thinking...

Sick to Death of that Book!

8/4/2015

4 Comments

 
Picture
Being a writer is an awesome job. I get to make stories up, and people are usually amused by them and send me nice comments and reviews.  It's a sweet gig, but I'm pretty new to the published writer business. That is, I've been writing my whole life, but just recently thought, Hmmmm, maybe other people would relate to this or find it worthwhile to read. So it came as a surprise to me how very sick of my debut novel I am. Do I think it's worth reading? Well, I've been honing it for five years, so it's probably as done as it will ever be, and most likely entertaining. Does it deal with cool stuff? Check. Does it delve into life's serious traumas. Double Check. Do I mind blogging or talking about those things? No, I enjoy that. I'm just sick of the book I just released. Physically and emotionally sick.

It surprised me that I became sick to my stomach the week of release. I'd previously released my book as a self-pub title, so I was unsure why it made me so physically ill to release it the second time, and I think I have an answer. I actually have a readership this time. I blogged, discussed, shared and crafted relationships with people, and now I care what they think of my book. I want them to relate to it. I want them to laugh and cry and be angry. I know I have people reading it this time, and that makes a pretty big difference. I respect my readers and I know I have them. My books doing well in Amazon rankings and that, for some strange reason, has made my stomach hurt worse. Eeek! People are buying it? What will they think?! 

So why am I emotionally sick of a book that, for years, I've been passionate about getting to a wider audience? Because I've spent YEARS on it. Spending that amount of time on any one project is bound to make you a little tired of it. I mean, I've read it so many times that I could probably put on a play without a script, no problem. Please don't ask me to. Because I'm a ham, and I just might. I suppose editing made me look at my book differently, too. It made me see its imperfections, which is positive, but you can't unsee that stuff. Now, I'm still catching things that I wish were better, but it's out of my hands now. That should make me feel better, but it doesn't. I strive for perfection, and it's unobtainable. My book is proof of that. I suppose those are all good reasons to feel a little blah about it all. 

Deep down, though, I know I still love this book. I know why I want people to read it. I think it's important, touching. It looks at big pictures in an entertaining way. It helped me evaluate where I was at when I wrote it, deep in postpartum depression. In giving my characters a chance for hope and redemption, it gave me the same hope. 

But, still, I'm sick to death of it. Because it's time to move on. Move on to one of the six other projects I have in my mind, on napkins, in notebooks and in shitty first drafts. My mind longs for the new territory of stories untold. So, on to writing the next book. Before I do, however, I'd like to take a moment to be proud of writing a book that (deep down) I'm very happy with, no matter how done my body is with it.

Okay, I'm done. I'm gonna go write something else now. Thanks, debut book, for making me feel like I can write for readers. I'll still tell people to buy you, but don't ask me to read you again for a while. We need a break from one another. 
Picture
Picture
H.M. Jones is the B.R.A.G Medallion author of Monochrome, re-released by Gravity, an imprint of Booktrope. She is also responsible for the Attempting to Define poetry quartet and has contributed a short story to Master’s of Time: A Sci-Fi  and Fantasy Time Travel Anthology, "The Light Storm of 2015." A bestseller only in her mind, Jones pays the electric bill by teaching English and research courses at Northwest Indian College. Jones is also the moderator for Elite Indie Reads, a review website for Indie and Self published books. Besides buying enough second-hand books to fill a library, Jones loves to spend time helping her preschoolers grow into thinking, feeling citizens of this world, run, weave, pull with the Port Gamble S’Klallam Canoe Family and attempt to deserve her handsome husband, who is helping pay the other bills until his wife becomes the next big thing.
4 Comments
Karen McFarland link
8/10/2015 02:52:49 am

Amen. Been there, doing that. I too have been writing my first book for five years. I'm now editing and polishing. Getting closer to releasing this baby into the universe. It is a bit freaky. No one will probably read it. But I'm ready to move on to my next project. So ready. I wish you all the best! 😊

Reply
H.M. Jones link
8/10/2015 10:01:44 am

I'm sure someone will read it, and I wish you all the best as well, Karen. That's about how long I spent on Monochrome and now I'm just so happy to be writing other things. lol It's a good book, but it makes me want to throw up. ;)

Reply
martha hart
8/10/2015 04:38:37 am

I hear you - pressure's on when the stakes are higher. My WIP has been "in progress" since 1998. That's right, 17 years. Needless to say, life kept getting in the way - fulltime job, going back to school, 2 other books when I got stalled on this one, becoming caretaker for a parent... finally decided life was too short, so I retired early and moved to South America to be able to work on it. (The transition is harder than expected, and slower, but progress is being made...)

Am I sick of it? Not yet - still excited by it, passionate to tell the story, but it's a long road ahead. I expect I'll be sick of it at some point! And yes, I have projects a-waitin' for me after this one ;)

Nice post. All the best to you.

Reply
Melanie link
8/10/2015 06:02:08 am

Oh yes. And when you're marketing that book, you get so tired of the one-line blurb and trying to come up with new, exciting ways of saying the same thing.
Keep working on new stuff!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    H.M Jones is the author of B.R.A.G Medallion Honor and NIEA finalist book Monochrome, its prequel Fade to Blue, the Adela Darken Graphic Novellas, Al Ravien's Night, The Immortals series, and several short stories. 

    General Geekery: H.M. Jones Newsletter

    * indicates required
    Picture
    Available Now
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Archives

    December 2019
    November 2019
    April 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014

    Categories

    All
    Bella Bella 2014
    Canoe Journey
    Epiblog
    Indie Author
    Journal
    Reviews
    Review Sites
    Self Pub
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • H.M. Jones: Author, Blogger, Geek
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
  • Poetry
  • Thinking of Writing: Writing is Thinking
  • Naughty Donnie
  • Follow/Contact H.M. Jones