I was, like many intelligent and thoughtful individuals, disgusted by Dan A-hole Turner's complete dismissal of the young woman who his son raped, of the very fact that his son raped, of his completely ignorant and lacking letter. It shows that Dan is the type of man who has always excused his son's poor behavior, and when one does this with one's children, those children never learn empathy. So, I fixed your letter, Dan. You're welcome. If you've not read the letter, maybe you shouldn't. It will make you angry. If you really want to do so (I don't suggest it). Here is a reference.
As a writer who is empathetic, as a writing teacher, an editor and a survivor of sexual assault, here are some suggestions that will make this letter not disgusting. For fun, I've addressed it to you. Notice how I take into consideration fault, the violence that occurred and the ways in which that violence might have harmed the survivor. Feel free to use any of this. It's called empathy and honesty.
Dear Dan A. Turner:
As it stands now, a woman’s life has been deeply altered forever by the rape of Jan. 17th. She will never be her happy-go-lucky self, with her bright and welcoming smile. After the rape she is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear and depression. After all, how can you welcome a person who might intend you harm? You can see it in her face, in the way she walks (always looking behind her, always with a fist clenched around her mace), her silenced voice, her lack of appetite.
The survivor always enjoyed going out to eat with friends, but now she is careful about who she goes out with, what she eats, what she drinks. Not because she should have to be, but because a man who likes steak treated her like meat. The judge’s verdict has shattered her and her family in so many ways. Her life will never be the one she dreamed of before she was badgered, broken, and abused.
That is what twenty minutes of sexual violence can do; it can shatter a survivor’s dreams, relationships, self-confidence, her life.
The fact that her abuser will face such a lack luster penalty, will too soon stroll streets--streets so much like the one where he raped her--forever alters how she will be able to interact with the world. For how can she trust a world where sports scores trump the safety and well-being of victims of sexual assault?
What I know as a survivor of sexual assault is that incarceration is a proper and fitting punishment for sex offenders, one that creates an environment of no tolerance, and a feeling of safety and support on the part of the survivor. On Jan. 17th, Brock forced himself on an unconscious woman, left abrasions, lacerations, pine needles and dirt inside her, and you refuse to say what he did was violent.
No woman or intelligent man wants to hear your son spout bullshit about sexual promiscuity and drinking, as “promiscuity” is a term meant to shame and demean females exclusively. Since boys are never labeled in such a way. How can a man who does not understand what rape is, does not understand consent, even try to speak to such a subject without fucking it up? He doesn’t. So he shouldn’t. And neither should you.
For the survivor of your son’s violent attack, and for all victims of sexual abuse, let me personally say: probation is bullshit. Stop making excuses for your child’s disgusting, demeaning and violent behavior. It is clear to me, to so many of us, that you’ve been excusing him for so long that he never learned how to take responsibility for his own actions and thoughts. It’s clear to us all that men like him, like you, like the judge who pardoned him are still placing the blame on the victim.
With dripping anger and deep wishes that you’ll grow a brain,
H.M. Jones is the author of many books in which the topic of rape is neither sugar-coated or excused. Monochrome, her dark fantasy, will be re-printed by Feminine Collective in 2016. It was awarded an honorable mention at the LA Book Festival, a B.R.A.G medallion and was a NIEA finalist book in the New Adult category.
H.M. writes many short stories, guest pieces and poems, which are featured in various books and a few wonderful sites. She is a mother to two children, three chickens and one dog. She is married to a man who likes books almost as much as she does.
6/5/2016 11:15:04 pm
Brava, my strong, brave, brilliant friend!
6/6/2016 07:40:33 am
Her letter made me cry. It was so raw and also so eloquently stated. You're right. She's an inspiration.
This man needs a reality check! I want so very badly to let him know that is son is so very very lucky that the Father of the Girl that his son RAPED did not just take his son out! Do you have a Daughter Dan?? I doubt it . I have 3 . Oh and my son would never ever ever lay his hands on a girl that was tired let alone passed out in the bushes! The two young men that saw the attack , and chased your son down , they also were discussed by his actions! How dare you talk about your sons life being ruined ! He got a ridiculous sentence ( unjust) as will be shown by the Judge that handed down that joke of a sentence ( not ) getting re elected. The girl your son RAPED , will need counseling for years, her relationships with men will now be on shaky ground. And you said ( 20 minutes of activity or some similar ridiculous thing ) ruined your sons life ???? His Actions on Raping a unconscious girl are what is going to follow him around, because a very large group of extremely pissed off women with Daughters, sisters , mothers , granddaughters will keep posting about him everyday!!! Prison time might have been better. Your letter just made us all s little angrier!!! Your letter is most likely why your son felt entitled enough to rape her to begin with! You think his life is ruined because he is not eating his snacks after school??? Wow. Do yourself a favor and look up Rape , from a few different girls who have lived though it. And read a few letters. It amazes me that the one that was written by the girl your son raped didn't seam to bother you .
6/6/2016 07:42:08 am
6/6/2016 08:50:22 am
As a parent, you always want to protect your kids no matter what, but also parents need to face reality and wake up when the kids are wrong. While I understand his pain, he's enabling his son and he's refusing to accept his "baby" ruined a woman's life forever. Poor Dan still living in denial, but hers nothing that can change of what happened that day. This is more than teaching morals, this is about law too, he's a monster who comitted a crime and he needs to pay for it.
6/6/2016 12:38:23 pm
Yes, I agree that he wrote the letter as a parent, and that he must be deeply hurt by his son's actions and pain. However, his letter shows that he does not even consider his actions wrong. I mean? What?! Yes. Denial. I'm a mother and my children are imperfect, and I would be crushed if they did something harmful to another human, which is why I talk about consent, even now, when they are little tots and someone doesn't want to be touched or is unable to voice their wants. I say, "Your body is your own. The body of other people is there own. Never treat another person's body or mind badly. Never. That is wrong. When you behave badly to another person's body in that manner, it is gross. You will not behave in that way. If you do, I will not stand for it." I know for a fact, from this letter, that Dan considers no one but his son, nothing but his own pain, his son's pain. He doesn't even think about the survivor. And THAT is not okay. To write a letter like this is not okay, no matter how much you love your son. I agree he did it out of love. But he made a mistake in so doing.
6/6/2016 03:20:59 pm
Aw, Honey, you know he'll never grow a brain.
6/6/2016 04:36:06 pm
You're not wrong, love. We all know I didn't actually write it for him. ;)
I'm watching CNN as I write this hearing that he is appealing his sentence, and hearing the letter his mother wrote to the judge on why he shouldn't go to prison...."it would hurt him"
6/7/2016 01:51:50 pm
It's all so one-sided with his family, the the judge, with even news outlets. That's why her letter was beautiful. It was awful, but honest and delving. It said the words others were silencing by forgetting that a person was harmed, raped, abused.
6/15/2016 08:43:24 am
Men like this, including the disgusting father, need a good raping in prison so they know the pain they bestowed upon their victim. If the father acts this calmly about his sons RAPING actions then I wonder what the father has done in his life. Like father like son.
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H.M Jones is the author of B.R.A.G Medallion Honor and NIEA finalist book Monochrome, its prequel Fade to Blue, the Adela Darken Graphic Novellas, Al Ravien's Night, The Immortals series, and several short stories.